Broken
by ctrl-issue
Summary: LeoxRaph, a giftfic, one shot and a bit hard core. Movie'verse. Raph discovers one more reason he follows Leo's lead when a runin on a rooftop one late October night leads to something unexpected between the two of them.


_Title: Broken  
Author: CtrlIssue  
Rating: M for Mature  
Pairing: Leo/Raph  
Warnings: They're turtles. And gay. And a bit hardcore.  
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't own, don't sue, etc. Uhm, this isn't my fandom. Also, this started out as a gift for _spacefille_, and it's pretty much all there is to that. I mean, hell, I've written for Biker Mice before, so why not? Although, this is the first time I'm venturing away from mammals, and I have NO IDEA about the anatomy herein. Eh… yeah, now on with the 'story'. _

**Broken**

Another stormy night, another rooftop, and another fight.

It was late October and as far as Raphael could see, he had Leo right where he wanted him. His older brother's swords were trapped in the tongs of his twin sai, and the ground was slippery enough under their feet that he was able to push the blue banded turtle back a few paces. Of course, it was Leo's fault.

It was always Leo's fault.

Especially this time of year, when they were all at their worst, but him especially. There was just something about this time of year that made him feel more volatile than ever. He knew that if he asked, Donny would have an answer. But did the answer really matter? Raph didn't think so. Then again, even if it did matter, he wouldn't care.

Because it was all Leo's fault, anyway.

Leo was always pushing him, always pushing him to the point that he broke and his temper took control. It was only like this that he was able to make his brother see… Sometimes it was best not to push too hard.

"What's wrong, Leo?"

Or else.

"You're Mister Perfect." Raph grinned. "Why ya losin'? Can't cut it anymore?"

Dark eyes narrowed as Leo said nothing, just kept his hold. He'd been down this road before with Raph. Always the same thing. Only this time… this time, Leo was close to losing his own temper. He wasn't having what anyone would call a 'good day', and Raph wasn't helping the situation by being his usual bratty, thuggish self.

Irritated, Raph pushed harder, trying to break his brother's calm.

However, Leo wasn't the one to break… His swords were.

Raph nearly toppled over as the metal shattered, overbalanced in his attempt to best his brother. He regained his footing before Leo could attack him, though, shifting so that he was once again on the offensive. His dark eyes narrowed as he moved to a better position. Just because Leo was disarmed didn't mean he was any less dangerous.

The blue-banded turtle jumped back and away from the fight, keeping hold to the handles of his broken swords. The line of his mouth narrowed as he eyed the shards of metal littering the rooftop. Slowly, Leo raised his eyes to meet those of his brother.

"Ya know," Raph laughed nervously, suddenly caught off guard by the raw emotion he saw in Leo's eyes. "Ya should really invest in better weapons."

With that, the last of Leo's calm evaporated and he simply launched himself at the red-banded turtle. Grabbing the surprised ninja by the shoulders, Leo managed to clap his mutated teeth onto the exposed green flesh of Raph's shoulder even as he used his momentum to push the larger turtle down to the roof.

As soon as Raph felt Leo bite him, he jerked to the side in a very un-ninja-like maneuver that caused him to trip over his own feet, further allowing Leo to push him down.

As a general rule, turtles did not enjoy being on their backs. Raph was no exception. In fact, he hated being on his back. There was just something inherently wrong with it. Being on his back meant that he was at a disadvantage. Almost helpless.

But, right at that moment, that was exactly what he was. On his back and helpless.

However, even as he crashed hard, down to the rooftop, he found there was a distinct lack of will to fight Leo off. All his mind could focus on was the sharp feel of the blue-banded turtle's mutated teeth on his neck.

Sharp and strong and unrelenting and… Oh…

He was so focused on that one sensation that he didn't realize when his numb fingers actually… actually let go of his weapons. It wasn't until he heard the clink-thud of their landing that he realized what he'd done.

The red-banded turtle was finding it harder and harder to breathe, even though he wasn't actually doing anything. Even though he couldn't do anything. His arms felt heavy, too heavy to really lift other than to put his now empty hands on the outer edge of Leo's shell. He tried to buck the other turtle off, but quickly discovered that there was no real strength left in his legs. Which wasn't to say that he couldn't move them, just that he wasn't doing anything effective with their writhing-like motions.

"Uh… Leo?" Raph asked in an awkwardly broken tone even as he angled his head to give the usually temperate turtle more access. "Uhm… What…?"

Leo practically growled even as he pressed more of his weight down on Raph, and bit down harder.

The stockier brother yelped, more from surprise than from pain, even as his body…

Even as his body began to betray him.

His blood ran hot through his system, spiked with something uncommon and unwelcome but so very natural. Then, to Raph's great embarrassment, other things began to grow warm and then elongate. "Leo, listen, Leo… You need to stop."

If Leo heard, he wasn't paying attention. Instead, he began to rock, using his legs and knees for propulsion.

"Like, now man. Get… Off," Raph hissed, mortified by his body's continued resistance to push Leo away. The red-banded turtle tried to struggle, but he was slowly losing focus on what, exactly, he was struggling for. In fact, as his hands tightened their hold on Leo's shell, he found himself pulling his brother tighter. "Really… need… to… Christ!"

He pedaled his legs uselessly against the ground, which somehow allowed Leo to wedge one knee between them. Then both legs. And still, there was that rhythmic, arousing rocking motion that was about as close to sex as Raph had ever honestly gotten, but was still infuriatingly not enough to get him well and truly off.

Somehow, through the fog of erotic helplessness and young embarrassment, Raph discovered that he wasn't the only one turned on.

And that just broke him more.

Raph had never felt anything like this before. He'd never been this hyper aware… of anything. And yet, at the same time, all of his attention, all of his senses were focused on Leo.

He'd been locked in battle so intensive that all he should have been able to focus on was the adrenaline rush, the fight or die movements, and the way his opponent reacted to each of his actions. But this…

He was broken. He knew it. And he didn't care.

And it was all Leo's fault.

He looked up at the sky with wide open eyes, and noticed the stars. But they weren't important. They weren't very real.

The red-banded turtle took deep breaths, taking in the scent of tar, ozone, and the potential rain. But also the smell of Leo, the soap he used, and the oil he used on the leather of his scabbard, and….

There was a noise coming from somewhere… A small, strange noise, barely heard over the sound of his shell rocking against the rooftop, and the sounds of their feet scuffing against the surface.

The slightly larger male gasped with pleasure. He hated being helpless, so why did he find it so erotic right then?

"Leo…" Raph whined, and then realized that small, whimpering sound he'd been hearing was actually coming from him. He was quickly losing control of even his ability to speak, and there was no telling what he would do next. Or rather, what he would allow to be done. He… he couldn't take it. "Leo, please…"

And then, much to his frustration, the pressure eased off.

"No!" Raph exclaimed, pulling harder, pressing his body up to Leo. "I'm not there yet! Don't you dare stop."

The red-banded turtle could feel Leo hesitate, could sense reason returning to him, and in that moment, he was afraid. Afraid that Leo would stop, would do what was right, and would dismiss this entire thing. And afraid that he wouldn't stop.

Raph closed his eyes. He opened his mouth, and then closed it when no words came out. Instead, he just tried to pull his brother closer. They both wanted this, but more importantly, he felt that he needed this. Needed this. Badly. He shifted where he lay, proving his point, before he managed to swallow around a dry mouth. "Please. Leo."

There was one more moment of hesitation before Leo asked roughly, "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Fuck yes," he choked out, not really sure about anything other than this… this was what he wanted.

"Then tell me," Leo whispered, his voice low and dangerous, "What, exactly do you want me to do to you?"

Raph cried out a short, unrecognizable sound before Leo pushed against him, silencing him.

"Tell me."

"Fuck," Raph hissed, unable to do more than spit and curse and want. "Leo… Fuck… just don't fucking dare hold back!"

"Alright," Leo chuckled, and there was a note to his voice that Raph couldn't recall ever hearing there before.

-0-0-

It had been three nights since the… incident.

Four days of using all of his abilities to sneak in and out of the lair without having any of them question what he was doing. Four days and three nights since he'd been able to look Leonardo in the eyes. Three nights since he'd been able to look at any of his brothers.

He was working on getting past the fourth night, while simultaneously trying to figure out what, exactly, was wrong with him. Why… How did that happen? How did he end up begging Leo to just fuck him on some random rooftop?

And why did Leo do it? Why did Leo fuck him… and not get off himself? Just let him finish and then walk away as if nothing happened even though he knew, he -_knew_- that Leo had felt some of the heat himself.

The soft sound of sneakers hitting asphalt behind him signaled the end to his solitude.

"So, I called the lair, and no one says they seen you in days, and there's been no news on the tv about any new freaks or vigilantes," Casey said by way of introduction, moving over to stand at arms length from where Raphael was leaning against the rooftop edge. "Some of us are beginning to worry."

"Sorry," Raph replied with a casual shrug. "I just needed some space for a while."

"Yeah?" The human asked. He took it as a good sign and proceeded to sit on the edge of the building. "So?"

"So what?"

"What's eating you?"

"Nothing."

"Uh-huh," Casey snorted.

"Really, I just need some time to myself."

"Right. You've had three nights. Aint that enough?"

"Just shut up and leave me alone, okay?" Raph snapped as he debated whether or not he wanted to try and out run his friend, hide until he got… things sorted out of he wanted to confess to someone, anyone just to stop running in mental circles. "I'm just trying to figure things out."

"Oh?"

"Personal things," Raph hedged. Suddenly he stood up straight and looked at Casey. He made sure to look his friend over from his dirty sneakers up his tattered jeans, all the way up to the dented hockey mask he still wore. "Personal things that are private and I'd prefer you to go away. So go away."

"This about Leo?"

Raphael's mouth dropped open from shock as he took a staggered step back. "Wha-what?"

"Thought so." Casey said smugly as he lifted up his mask.

The red-banded turtle blinked several times before he sighed loudly. "How did you know…?"

"Because as far as I can tell, the only person that can get you all worked up is Leo," Casey shrugged. "He's got a real knack for getting under your skin like nobody's business."

Raph groaned as he went back to his earlier perch, leaning over the edge of the building to look down on the brightly lit city streets, once again moody. "Yeah. That's about right."

"So…?"

"So," Raph muttered. "This is something I really need to figure out for myself. I mean, trust me when I say, you wouldn't understand."

"Oh?" Casey asked suspiciously. "Why not?"

Raph sighed again, his mood darkening. He stared out over the city for a moment more before turning his gaze to his friend. Without thinking about the consequences, without thinking at all, he blurted out, "Because you're normal and human and have options that I don't."

Casey tilted his head to the side, an obvious question forming, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Raph took a deep breath and ground his teeth, mentally kicking himself. "Just drop it."

"No, no, you've got me curious now. I mean, more so than I was before."

With an in articulate grumble, the bipedal turtle moved away from the ledge and began pacing. How much could he tell Casey? They didn't have too many friends, hell they really only had two friends, and if he told him the truth, what was to stop Casey from being completely grossed out and never speaking to him, or anyone else, again?

But who else was he going to talk to?

Finally, his insides twisted with dread, Raph looked at his human companion and whispered, "I think I'm gay."

Blue eyes blinked as Casey absorbed that. "Why do you think that?"

Raph looked away as he muttered, "Because I want to fuck Leo."

"Huh." The raven-haired human nodded. "Damn, and here I thought you'd have gone for Mikey."

Raph's head snapped back around so that he could stare with wide-eyed shock at Casey. "What?!"

"Well…." Casey prayed that Raph wouldn't attack him. "Me and April have talked about this-"

"You've talked about us? About us having sex?"

"Her more than me," Casey stated. "She's a scientist, and she'll sometimes think out loud, trying to figure out how your bodies work and… you know, stuff."

Raphael blinked several times, trying to get his mind to wrap around this new bit of information. "Damn, and I thought we were the freaks. At least we don't have a choice in the matter."

"Heh. Well, you guys are our friends, and we, well she, worries, but she said that you guys would probably pair up with each other before you paired up with anyone else. So, us being us, or rather me being me, I made a bet with her. I figured if you were gonna pair up with any of them, it would be with Mikey. You two hang out more."

Raph closed his eyes and rubbed the space between his eyes. "And who did April say I'd hook up with?"

"Leo."

The red-banded turtle nodded his head, as if he accepted that, but then asked, "Why him?"

"I have no idea. She just thought it would be Leo. Of course, she also said that Mikey would need someone more like Donny to take care of him, rather than you, so that might have something to do with it."

Raph nodded, as if that made perfect sense, and in a way it did.

"So, really, I've had lots of time to think about this, whether I wanted to or not, so it doesn't really shock me," Casey continued. "Which isn't to say that it aint a bit creepy, but the way I figure it, what else can you do? Live a life of celibacy? That aint no fun."

Raph snorted, "No, but it's possible."

"Well, yeah, I guess. I mean, I wouldn't want to try it, would you?"

"Master Splinter's probably never gotten laid," Raph smirked. However, the grin was short lived. "And I bet Leo could have gone, well, could go, his entire life like that, too."

Casey stood up and began walking around as well, trying to get where Raph was, if not mentally than at least physically. He knew from past experience that when Raph brooded, his mind went all over the place. "So, maybe you gotta prove to him that it aint worth it?"

For Raph, it seemed that once the dam was broken, the rest of his thoughts spilled out easily. "It aint like that, Casey. It aint like that at all."

"Oh?"

The red-banded turtle bit his lower lip and then admitted, "He had me pinned to the ground, had me fucking helpless, and all I could think of was how much I wanted him to fuck me, right then and there. No questions asked, nothing."

"Oh." Casey said, pulling up short.

"Yeah," Raph muttered as he began to absently rub his arms, as if warding off a chill. "I mean, I don't get it. I usually hate it when he pulls the power play shit, but when he did that to me, I… I kinda liked it."

"So? Maybe you're just into bondage?" Casey said as he began to pace. "I once had a girlfriend who was really into that kind of stuff."

Raph turned to look, the question obvious in his confused expression, but silent on his tongue.

"She like me tying her up, liked being helpless. Said that she liked it because it let her get away with a lot more without feeling guilty about wanting it," Casey answered.

"How did you feel about it?"

"Honestly? It scared the hell out of me, but not in any kind of fun way. She liked things really rough. Really rough." The human male shrugged. "Which is why we didn't last."

Raph opened his mouth to ask about his and April's relationship, but decided against it. After all, he didn't really want to know. Instead, he just went back to pacing.

After a short, silent pause, Casey asked, "Have you spoken with Leo?"

"No."

"You might want to."

"I know, but… it's just so… I don't know what he wants."

"Well, talking to him might solve some of the problem."

"I know," Raph muttered. "But that don't make it any easier."

"Yeah, well, you know what they say about life and being easy."

-0-0-

Raph padded softly into the lair, grateful that it was dry even though it was part of the sewer system. It was at an ungodly hour in the night, or morning depending on one's perspective, and he was exhausted. He and Casey had ended up on patrol, and even though it was a slow night his mind had tricked him into thinking he'd done a lot more than he had.

The television was blaring loud enough to wake half the city, and both Mikey and Donny were crashed out in the living room. The light from the screen cast the rest of the lair into different shades of blue and shadow, and the red-banded turtle used it to his advantage as he tried to sneak to his room.

Along his path, there was a barrier of golden light. Frowning in concern, Raph went to investigate.

Of course, it was from the training area, where two of the screens weren't closed tight enough to keep the noise of the television out and the solitude and warmth of the dojo in. And of course, it was Leo practicing his _kata_.

From his vantage point in the shadows, Raph could see each muscle move beneath Leo's green skin as he moved with practiced precision. Dark eyes focused on Leo's form, knowing full well that it was flawless. Each move was as mortally graceful as the last. Each form smoothly blending from one to another. Leo would do nothing less.

He couldn't do anything less.

'_He's always practicing_,' Raph thought heatedly. 'A_s if he aint already perfect. The perfect student. The perfect leader. Just…. Just fucking perfect_.'

The momentary anger bled away as Leo rhythmically moved from one end of the mats to the other. It was a ritual that he'd seen countless times before, but this time… this time he was really looking. For Raph, the way of the ninja had more to do with martial than with art. For Leo? Leo breathed the artistry, making each move as elegant as the last.

Then the _kata_ ended, and it was over. Or so Raph thought.

"Well, you work with a _kata_, but what about freestyle?" Leo asked to his swords.

Raph frowned as he stepped closer. Leo hated freestyle. Then again, Leo was a perfectionist. It was his last thought as Leo twirled the swords in his hands, and then became nothing more than a blur of flashing metal and twisting flesh. A master whirlwind of blades and lethal intent, the metal skidded and slid easily over flesh and shell, as the slightly older turtle danced with his weapons.

Leo -danced-.

Just gave himself to the moment…

Raph felt his mouth grow dry and his body became rooted in the spot as he devoured the scene. He had never scene Leo move… never seen him move with such utter abandon. The red-banded turtle stared, his mind completely blank, as he was left with the feeling of being utterly gob-smacked by the sight.

He tried to swallow past a suddenly thick tongue and a dry throat.

The bare blades skidded across Leo's shell, cutting through air and light, as the mutant spun around and around, combining break dancing, acrobatics, martial arts into a lethal ballet. And all Raph could do was stare.

There was no noise from the television. There were no other turtles in the vicinity. There was no outside world other than him, Leo, and the small world created by the dozen or so candles that illuminated the training area.

And he had never _wanted_ anything so badly in his entire life. Just fucking -wanted-.

His breath was caught in his chest, his pulse was pounding, and he was suddenly covered in a fine layer of sweat. They were mutants, something between reptile and mammal. Something between turtle and human. They had shells and teeth. Three fingers and hot blood. Green skin that sweated. And Raph knew that he was, indeed, sweating. There was also another reaction, which he tried to undo. After all, unlike humans, he didn't wear clothes that could conceal… anything.

He wasn't aware of moving forward. Wasn't aware of making any sound. Wasn't aware of entering the training area to get a better look.

But when Leo pulled up short, Raph knew that his cover was totally blown. The lithe figure turned, even as he removed his blindfold. He stood on guard as he realized whom his unexpected audience was. "Raph. You're up late."

"I could say the same for you," the red-banded turtle shrugged as he tried to act nonchalant. "New swords?"

"Yes," Leo nodded. "Not as good as the last two, though."

"They looked good to me," Raph blurted, feeling his skin heat from his head down to his toes. "I mean, you seem to use them well."

If Leo noticed his embarrassment, he was polite enough to ignore it. Instead, he snorted and shook his head, even as he twirled the blades in his hands. "I need to rework them."

"Why not just pick out another set?"

"Because I'll have the same problem. " Leo shrugged as he slid the weapons into their scabbards. "Right now, they're just tools, just weapons. But if I rework them, then I can make them a part of me."

"Sounds like a pain in the ass, if you ask me," Raph smirk, crossing his arms over his chest.

The smaller figure grinned wickedly, as he looked the larger turtle over from head to toe and then back up, their eyes meeting. "Maybe. But I've learned that even the worst pain has the potential to bring a lot of pleasure."

All the air rushed out of Raph, and he was left standing dumbfounded as Leo took three steps backwards, and disappeared into the darkness of the half lit training area. His arms dropped to his side as he tried to focus on where Leo might have went to. Whispering hoarsely, he asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Means," Leo hissed from the shadows. "That I've learned a few things while I've been away."

"Yeah?" Raph retorted, grabbing his own weapons and putting them at the ready. "Well, I don't know if you noticed or not, but it aint like I'm still that punk kid you left behind. I've changed, too!"

"I've noticed," came the ethereal response.

Raph swallowed as he looked around. "So, what's up? What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting."

"For what?"

"For you to tell me what you need."

Raphael didn't understand how he could be hot and cold at the same time, but he was. The blatant –want- he had felt earlier was back, but he was also beginning to feel exceptionally frustrated. Grinding his teeth he spat out softly, "I already told you what I need, for you to not hold back, and you couldn't fucking deliver!"

"No, that was what you wanted," Leo corrected, his voice sounding eerily close, though Raph knew that he stood alone in the circle of light. "You wanted me to let loose. But right now I'm more interested in what you need."

The red-banded turtle could feel the adrenalin and excitement racing through him. At least Leo acknowledged what happened, admitted that it did happen, which was more than he expected. Even more amazing was the fact that Leo didn't seem to be upset about it.

"You know," Raph said, and then stopped when his voice cracked. He cleared his throat before he continued, "you know, I'm surprised you're even admitting… this."

"Like I said, I learned a lot while I was away."

Raph spun around, his sai up to block a blow that never came. With narrowed eyes, he backed further into the room and into the light. "Maybe. Or maybe you just like fucking around. Maybe you're just a cock tease."

"Or maybe," Leo said as he landed right behind the other turtle. With a quick swipe of his leg, he knocked Raph down onto his stomach. Moving faster than the red-banded turtle had ever seen him go, he pinned Raph's arm behind his back, knocking his weapons to the side. "Maybe I'm just trying to distract you, unbalance you, before I attack again."

"Let go!" Raph growled, jerking his body to try and dislodge the other male. However, with his blood already filled with endorphins and adrenalin, and the memory of their last engagement still fresh in his mind, the larger mutant was all too aware of the erotic possibilities of this position.

Leo pushed harder against Raph's arm, almost to the point of breaking it, forcing the other male to calm down. When he was sure Raph wasn't going to do anything sudden, he slid one hand down the curve of hard yet sensitive shell under him.

Raph became as still as death when he felt the back of Leo's hand glide over the inside of his thigh. And then upward. "Are you sure that's what you want? Is that what you need? Think about it."

-0-0-

Raph watched Casey jump from rooftop to rooftop. It was well after dark, even in the city, and prime hunting time. Normally, Raph would already have been out, prowling around, trying to find thugs to beat down. Normally, he would be waiting for Casey to join him, and they would talk and hunt, and get on with their lives.

But tonight wasn't a normal night.

Tonight, Casey was running and jumping away from him.

Which was all for the good, because Raph didn't want to talk with him anyway.

Honestly, his life was getting weirder and weirder. He could kill and fight and stand up to just about anyone and anything, but the idea of going forward with his plan… he couldn't remember ever being this agitated.

Twice now, Leo had gotten him off, but hadn't allowed himself the same kind of pleasure. Was it due to this odd game that they were playing, or was it something else?

When he was sure that the human was far enough away, he moved towards the open fire escape that Casey had just left. He ground his teeth together to stop the nervous fluttering in his stomach as he slipped inside April's apartment.

He was caught off-guard by the young redhead strutting into the living room in her short bathrobe, drying off her hair. However, she was far more startled, as she first noticed a stranger was in her apartment. Crying out a wild yelp, she jumped back, automatically trying to turn the towel into a weapon, "Who the-"

"Hey, April," Raph said with a smug grin.

When her eyes allowed her to see more than the fact that there was a stranger in her house, and that he was in fact a friend, the human woman smiled sheepishly, "Hey Raph, how are you?"

"I'm… okay," the red-banded turtle answered.

Still smiling, she motioned helplessly to the opened window. "I'm sorry, you just missed Casey."

Raph looked at the window and then cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Uhm, actually… I know. I watched him jump away."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, listen…. I hate to say it, especially like this, but… Can we talk?" Raph bit his lower lip and then looked back at the young female. "Damn I hate how that sounds."

April giggled and nodded her head. Instead of making fun of him, she motioned towards the kitchen area. "Sure, come on. I'll find us something to drink."

Raph followed her to the kitchen, noticing how short her bathrobe was and realizing… he wasn't the least bit interested. Wasn't there a time… Was there a time? Sighing and shaking his head, he pushed the thought to the side. If there was or wasn't, it didn't matter at the moment. Raph picked out a chair and spun it around to straddle it, allowing himself some comfort for his shell while April opened the fridge.

"So, would you care for juice, water, milk, wine-"

"It doesn't really matter to me," Raph said with a casual shrug.

April looked up over the fridge door and asked, "Have you ever had any of Casey's beer before?"

"N-no," the young mutant replied honestly.

With a smug grin, she grabbed one of the bottles out, as well as a bottle of wine. She winked at her audience as she used one of the cabinet handles to open the beer bottle with. "Here. Taste it, see if you like it."

Raph looked at her and then at the offered beer. Well, who was he to turn down such a gracious offer? With a slight grin, he accepted the bottle and then watched as she poured herself a glass of wine. She then sat down across from him, bringing the wine bottle with her.

"So?"

"So…" Raph muttered in response. He eyed her once more before he took a sip. It took all of his control not to spit the foul substance across the table. "Damn, that's…"

"Gross?"

"That's one word for it."

April sighed, and took a sip of her wine. "I knew I wasn't the only person who thought that."

Getting up, she took the bottle from him and dumped the contents into the sink. She then quickly grabbed another glass and poured him some of her preferred drink. "They say that beer is an acquired taste, but I don't know anyone who'd want to go through the trouble of acquiring a taste for something that disgusting."

Raph shrugged, remembering why he was there, "Listen, April-"

"Yes?" She answered as she sat back down.

"Listen… I know that you and Casey talk about us…" Raph began, his voice faltering. Frowning, he looked at his glass of wine. Pushing it to the side, he set his hands in front of him. "I need your advice."

"Why mine?"

Raph blinked at her. "What?"

"Why are you asking for my advice?" April reiterated. "Wouldn't it be better to get Master Splinter's advice? Or is this about you and Leo, and you haven't told him yet?"

Raph closed his eyes and leaned his head forward. He had known that Casey would tell April. He just didn't actually expect her to… well, admit it. "This is about me and Leo."

"Alright," April continued to smile, but there was something else in her eyes. "I'm all ears."

"How…. Why… Okay. So." Raph tried and failed several times before he found a conversation path that worked. "It's like this. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I mean, … I'm completely fucking blind here. And I have no idea what the hell is up with Leo or what… any of it means… and I would really just like some kind of idea, some kind of … something that will get me from point A to point B without me fucking it up too badly."

"Ooookay," April said slowly. "Well…. Let's start with where is Point A?"

"Right now? Point A is me, here with you, trying to figure out what the hell is going on."

"Uh-huh. And Point B?"

"Me getting laid."

"Right." April nodded casually. "So… you've talked with Leo about this?"

"No." Raph muttered.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't ever want to just –talk- with Leo." Raph growled as he got up out of his chair. He began to pace. "He's always so… well, you know. Leo. So goddamn cocky it's unreal."

"It's not arrogance when he really is just that good," the young woman replied.

Raph turned to glare at her.

"Well, it's true," she shrugged. "He's graceful, lethal, smart, suave-"

"I know what he's like!" Raph snapped.

"And that's why you like him." April nodded sagely. "Not so much for the arrogance part, but for the fact that he's self-aware enough to know who and what he is."

"What he is," Raph muttered, "is a pain in the ass at times."

"Maybe. Or maybe you're letting your frustration get to you."

"Well what do you suggest?"

April sat back in her chair and took another sip of her wine. "I'd suggest talking, but we both know that isn't going to work. So, action it is. Seduce him."

"How?" The red-banded turtle asked sincerely. "He's…"

"I know," the human female nodded. "But did you ever consider… what does he want? What draws him to you?"

Raph frowned, "I've tried to figure him out-"

"No," April shook her head. "Not figure him out. Just figure out what he wants from you?"

"Well-"

"Because let me tell you, what he wants from you? It isn't just a quick lay."

"Wh-what?"

"Leo's not the type for casual affairs," April answered. "He doesn't do anything by halves, unless he's holding back for the safety of others. He puts his all into everything he does. And honestly? He wouldn't go after something he doesn't want or need. Its not his style."

Raph nodded his head, easily accepting what she said as truth.

"So the fact that he thinks that he wants or needs you? Means that he does," the young woman continued to think out loud. "So, why? What is it about you, Raphael, draws him? Attracts him?"

"I…" Raph stuttered. "I don't know."

"Well, as soon as you do, you'll know how to seduce him," she retorted. "But, and here's the second part, the Point C, if you will, if and when you do seduce him, what then? Because Leo would want to keep you. Can you handle that?"

"I…"

"You don't know," April nodded. "But it's something you're going to need to think about. Think about it long and hard. Getting laid is great, lots of fun. Well, some times. Depends on your partner. But with Leo, considering his personality…"

Raph quickly tuned the human woman's rambling out, concentrating on other things. Could he stand to be with Leo for longer than a night? Or did he just want something hot and quick and over with in the morning?

And if that was the case, then why was he so upset with getting exactly that?

-0-0-

Controlling. Abandoning.

Sweat covered bodies sliding roughly in the darkness. Figures rubbing against each other, causing unimaginable friction.

Mutual desire.

Romancing. Sacrificing.

Toned and battle-harden forms were molded more by inquisitive hands. Hands roaming, touching, burning, tracing, torturing.

Worshipping. Confusing.

Mouths exploring. Hissing when unable to taste. Moaning, gasping, trying to give pleasure even as they demanded. Muted gasps of pleasure mingled with the whine of frustration, which quickly turned to a groan as that driving need went unmet.

Dominance. Submission.

Raph woke to his own nocturnal whimpering as he moved against the rumpled and ripped sheets of his bed.

Alone.

Alone, grinding against his bed like the randy delinquent he knew he was. Raph groaned as he buried his head in his pillow, trying to stop his body's natural inclination. He knew it wasn't going to work, not until he got what he wanted. Not until he got what he needed.

It was still late October, and he could feel it.

Feel that old familiar longing for closeness and tactile sensation. Feel the always unexpected burn for something that none of them had ever quite been able to name. It was just there, like a slow sickness that they never really realized that they were suffering through until they were all at each other's throats, trying to work out their anger and confusion and flat out need.

Autumn was the worst time for them because it was mating season. Humans were lucky in that they were always in heat, always ready to breed. But turtles? Mutant turtles at that… They had a year's worth of lust packed into half a season.

Worse though, was that now he had a point of fixation. Before, he just went with the feel of it, just played around in the privacy of his own room, just for the pleasure that he could bring himself. But now? Now he kept seeing Leo over him, half hidden by shadows. Now he kept feeling Leo's body against his, touching him in ways that left him weak and loving it. Now he kept hearing Leo whispering in his ear, things that Leo never had and never would say to him about….

'_Fuck this noise!_' Raph thought desperately to himself. He pushed himself up so that he could reach beneath himself, but thought better of it moments later when that first few strong touches did nothing to alleviate his need.

With a disgusted sigh he stopped and tried to figure out what he could do to get off. That was all he wanted. That was all he needed.

And then it hit him.

He wanted what he'd already had a taste of. He wanted…

He closed his eyes and buried his head deeper into the pillow as the thought to a more coherent form. Then, with a growl of annoyance, he quietly rolled over to his back.

He hated being on his back. Ever since he was a kid and had seen what happened to other turtles, normal turtles, he hated being on his back. Normally, it wasn't much of an issue, seeing as how he never had a reason to be on his back. And if he did have a reason, such as landing that way, well, lit was easy enough to roll back up so that he could flip back to his feet.

The exception, of course, was that time on the rooftop. When Leo had him pinned. Begging.

Raph doubted his body could be any more aroused, but just thinking of that night had his blood pumping and his body aching. "Fuck…"

He closed his eyes and remembered.

Remembered the feel of tar and gravel against his hard shell. Remembered the smell of ozone in the air. Remembered Leo pressed up against him.

'_Fucking mating season_,' Raph thought uncharitably, deciding that it was best to blame the time of year and his uncontrollable hormones for his reactions. That had to be it, after all. Leo didn't normally… didn't normally affect him. At least, not like this.

And Leo normally didn't act so…

Not even during this time of the year. Leo was the fucking king of restraint. Always in control.

Always.

Controlling.

The red-banded turtle bit his lower lip as he tightened his grip, his thoughts spinning a web of delusional images in his head. Leo over him, whispering. Touching him. Promising him.

His strokes here fast and damn near brutal, driving him to the edge of sanity, and then keeping him there, just like Leo did. Just like that time in the training area, where Leo was once again in control and intent on making Raph know it. He could feel his heart pounding against the inside of his plastron, and sweat sliding across his skin, all too aware of the world around him and the memories and images playing in his head. The muscular turtle tried unsuccessfully to bite back a whimper of pleasure as he fantasized.

Dreamed about it and wanted it and bucked and writhed and gritted his teeth because while it was just a bunch of thoughts, it was more than he needed to just get off. More than enough to fuel his already out of control libido.

His breath was soon coming in short, jagged gasps as he drove himself further. '_Almost there. Almost…Fuck!_'

And then he was right –there- slamming into that perfect, stupid pleasure like a wall, trying his best to not scream out Leo's name.

Moments later, when Raph realized that he was still alive, even if his body didn't want to do more than just lay there, he thought about what he had just done. Thought about it and hated it.

Hated that it was Leo's eyes he'd imagined watching him. Hated that it was Leo's voice in his ear. Hated that it was Leo's hands, Leo's actions, and Leo's demands driving his imagination. Hated everything about it.

But mostly, he hated himself because even after all that, he was still left weak and wanting.

Too tired to be disgusted with himself, too tired to do more than roll over into a more comfortable position, Raph tried to stop thinking about it. After all, he'd been thinking about it for almost a week now and he wasn't any closer to coming to a conclusion.

Unfortunately, the more he didn't want to think about it, the more he actually did.

Maybe Casey was right. Maybe he needed to look into bondage and… other things like that. Donny would be the first to tell him that there was no harm in doing research on it. Hell, he'd probably be proud of him, actively investigating something with his head rather than his fists. But with something like this? Well, it might be fun. Or it could just give him more ideas.

He was already a freak. What was one more card in his stack?

Then there was April and everything that she said, mainly the points about Leo. Could they have sex and be just brothers? Or were they already past that point? And did he want Leo forever, because she was right about that. Leo wasn't into casual encounters.

Their fearless leader was an all or nothing kind of guy who put everything he was into everything he did, and just thinking about it made Raph shudder and twitch with renewed interest. People said that there were worse things than being a teenager, but the red-banded turtle wasn't sure what those things were.

He needed to stop thinking about Leo and all the things he said and did. Or rather, he needed to start thinking about whether or not he wanted to retaliate. Did he want to give as good as he got, and did he want to turn Leo on?

'_Yes_!' Raph answered himself. '_Yes, I want… I want to make him lose control. I want to drive him as crazy as he drives me!_'

He let his mind wander, imagining how Leo would react, what buttons would work. What could he do that wouldn't get him in trouble, but would get the reactions he wanted.

That train of thought brought him up short, because he was suddenly reminded that it wasn't just him and Leo living there, and there were others who might have a say in what he was thinking. After all, what would Splinter do if he found out…

What would Donny say?

What about Mikey?

'_But Leo started it!_' Raph defended his actions to himself, trying to rationalize the sudden guilt he felt for forgetting the other members of his family. That didn't assuage the emotion though. And that's when he realized that, if he was going to beat Leo at his own game, he was going to have to play by some very confining rules. And the first one was simplest and most terrifying.

He was going to have to get Splinter's permission.

'_I think I'd rather just jerk off every night._' Raph thought as he fell into an easy sleep.

-0-0-

'_Forty-three, forty-four, forty-five_,' Raph thought to himself as he worked out, lifting weights, fully aware that he could say it out loud as he was the only person in the room. He'd been exercising most of the morning, but even he had to admit that what he was really doing was putting off the inevitable.

He needed to talk to Splinter. He needed to talk to Donnie. He needed to talk to Mikey.

But he didn't want to speak to any of them just yet. Not until he had a plan. Not until he had an idea of what he was going to say. After all, what was he expected to say? 'Hey, I'd like your permission to throw Leo to the ground and ride him like a racehorse until I can't sit for a year." Something told him that he'd need to work on his delivery. He didn't want to give his father a heart attack, or his brothers the opportunity to mock him.

There was also the chance that they'd be revolted. That they'd hate him.

So, he put it off. Just for a little while, at least, because he was honest enough with himself to realize that he wasn't going to be able to put it off forever. He… he felt too twisted up inside to be able to put it off for too much longer. And he was beginning to believe that this odd feeling, this uneasiness wasn't just because it was 'that time of the year', so to speak, which was frightening all on its own.

Could he really handle forever? With Leo? Mister Perfect himself. Anal retentive and so damn controlled… They were at each others throats as often as not, but at the same time, they kept each other balanced. Not to mention just thinking about their next fight had him slightly aroused.

Raph stared at the floor as he tried to concentrate on his training.

This was always easier, this mindless movement. Sure, he always did his best to make sure his hits and kicks landed with lethal efficiency. But he wasn't as anal about perfection as Leo was. He wasn't like Mikey, who just did it for fun. Or like Donnie, who considered it a distraction from his 'real' work. He saw it as a means to an end, and just made sure that he hit hard enough that it worked.

And nine times out of ten, it did. Of course, it was that other one time that always got him in trouble. Which was why he trained harder, so that he could get that one in ten down to none in ten.

Raph paused in his repetitions, frowning as he realized that he'd lost count.

"Raphael," came a gravely voice unnervingly close.

"Master Splinter!" The red-banded turtle nearly dropped the dumbbell in surprise. Whipping his head around, he was even more startled to realize that the speaker was only a few feet from him. How long had he been standing there, watching him? "Hi, what's up?"

Wise, old eyes narrowed slightly as the aged warrior took stock of the younger male. "I could ask the same of you, my son. You seem… troubled. More so than usual. You have been avoiding your family for several days now."

"Oh, uhm," Raph replied, trying to think fast even as he realized that his tongue was swelling in his mouth. He didn't want to lie, but he wasn't ready! He needed a few more... few more hours, few more days, few more lifetimes, even if he knew he wouldn't be able to hold out that long. "I'm good. Really."

Splinter lowered his ears as he continued to scrutinize his son. He kept his body relaxed, and both hands at the top of his walking stick. It was obvious that he knew Raph was lying to him.

Raph looked to the side, feeling his face flush and a cold sweat beginning to break out over his skin.

"This is regarding Leonardo, is it not?" Splinter asked, rather than said, surprising Raph for the second time in less than five minutes.

The red-banded turtle opened his mouth, although no sound emerged, and just gaped at his father as his mind went utterly blank from shock and horror. When he was finally able to find his voice, he squeaked out, "Am I that obvious?"

The older male chuckled dryly as he smiled, his ears returning to their proper place. "My son, sometimes… sometimes you are very easy to read. You are a very passionate person, most notably when it comes to your pride, your honor, and your family."

"I guess," Raph groused. He placed the dumbbell on the ground even as he looked away once again. "Master Splinter?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think… What…." The younger male fumbled for the right words, well aware that there just weren't any in his vocabulary. He wasn't Donnie. "I… I need…."

Splinter tilted his head to the side for a moment, watching Raph. Quietly, allowing the younger man to try and find his voice, he moved to sit beside him on the workout bench. His tail whipped through the air as he took his seat before it came to rest on the floor behind him. When the words still wouldn't come, he placed a calming hand on Raph's shoulder and said, "Take your time, Raphael. I am listening."

"Do you… Heh. I feel kind of foolish. I mean, I don't know what I'm trying to say… But. But I guess… I want to try to…. I think…. I think I'm slightly…" Raph took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. He laughed without joy as he stated, "I can't even say it."

Splinter frowned with concern. "Speak what is in your heart. It is what concerns you most."

Raph turned to regard his mentor, and it was easy to see the fear in his eyes. And Raph knew it. He knew that Splinter could see it, and for that moment, for that split second, he didn't care. He was afraid. Hell, he was terrified. "I want to seduce Leo."

The old rat blinked for a moment. Behind him, his tail twitched, but remained otherwise relaxed on the cold stone floor. His hand still rested on the muscular shoulder of his second oldest son. After he had time to digest what Raph had said, taking the time to let it really sink in, he took a deep breath and sat up straight. "Is this what is truly in your heart?"

Terrified was an understatement at that point as Raph was left completely speechless, unable to even think of an answer. Instead, all he could do was nod slowly.

"I see." Splinter said, his eyes once again narrowed as he looked over his son.

"I… I wanted to ask your permission."

"To seduce Leonardo." The furry warrior nodded his head, as if he expected that. "Have you thought about how this might effect your brothers? How this might change the dynamics of the team? How this will change you?"

"I know that I'm going to have to tell Donnie and Mikey. I know that this aint something that involves just me and Leo." Raph replied quietly. "But I don't know how this will change us."

Splinter was quiet for a moment before he nodded his acceptance of that answer. "And what will you do once you have… seduced Leonardo?"

"Keep him," the red-banded turtle managed to rasp around a thick tongue and tight throat. And he would, too. "Even if he tries to run away. Again."

Splinter chuckled at that and nodded his head. "Then are you truly seducing him?"

"Huh? What?" Raph asked, more than a little surprised at how well Splinter took this. Not to mention how relieved he felt now that his father knew and accepted it.

"Think of your words, and the meaning behind them. Seduction is an enticement. A persuasion. A temptation. It has other, more negative connotations, and I believe it is mainly because seduction is not forever."

"Then I guess…. I guess I'm trying to win him. Because winning is forever. Even if your opponent gets up again, and comes at you later, you've still won that other battle. The new one is just that. A new battle."

"As you say, my son." He patted Raph's shoulder one more time before he stood up. As he began walking away, he said, "If this is what is in your heart, then I cannot deny it to you."

"Really?"

The old rat pretended to not hear the surprised question. "Especially as Leonardo has already expressed the same desire of the heart."

Raph watched in mute shock as Splinter left the area. Leo had already asked permission? Did the other two know already, too? If they did, why hadn't they said anything? And if they didn't… why didn't Leo say anything to them? What was Leo up to?

-0-0-

Raph knew he had two options. Either confront Leo about telling Master Splinter… or talk to his other two brothers. Ironically, the red-banded turtle thought it would be easier to ask Leo if he'd spoken to everyone about… this.

But when was the last time he took the easy way out?

Finding Mikey was not a problem. All Raph had to do was figure out what day it was, and figure if he would be watching any number of wrestling shows or if he would be reading his latest haul of comics. Considering it was Monday, the answer was simple.

Wrestling.

The comic book shop was closed on Mondays.

"Hey, Mikey!" Raph called, feeling the dread he'd been carrying around becoming magically heavier. Surprise, surprise, he was actually going through with this.

The youngest of the four brothers waved a hand as bounced up and down on the couch, "Dude, they're introducing a new character!"

Raph rolled his eyes as he leaned over the couch, his hands on the barely covered beam that supported the back. "C'mon, I need to talk to you."

"I didn't eat the last of the cereal!" Michelangelo said, startled enough to tear his eyes away from the screen.

The larger turtle blinked several times, and then took a deep breath. "This isn't about the cereal, but thanks for the warning."

Mikey bit his lower lip for a moment, obviously trying to think what else he might, potentially, be in trouble for. "I haven't touched your cycle in over a week…"

"This isn't about that, either."

"And I haven't found where you hide your porn in-"

"Mikey!"

"…This isn't about that, either, is it?"

"C'mon," Raph repeated exasperatedly, jerking his head in the direction of Donatello's room. "I need to talk to you and Don, and I might as well get this out of the way at the same time."

The younger turtle frowned, gave one last look to the television, and then sighed. "This better be quick. I've been waiting for two weeks for the big reveal."

"Yeah, yeah," Raph snorted, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. "As soon as we're done, you can go back to your soap operas."

"Hey, man," Mickey exclaimed as he jumped over the couch to follow Raph. "They're not soap operas. Master Splinter watches soap operas. Wrestling is way cooler."

"Uh-huh, sure."

"It is!"

Donatello's area was as messy as usual, and the owner of said mess was hunched over another motherboard of sorts. Raph didn't pay much attention to that, he was too busy trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say.

"Hey Donny," Michelangelo cried out happily. "Raph wants to chat with us."

"Oh?" The purple-banded turtle took off his goggles as he looked up, blinking inquisitively at his guests. "If this is about the improvements I've made to the battleshell-"

Like a child high on sugar, Mikey jumped on the tangent. "You made more improvements?"

"This isn't about that!" Raph shouted, catching both of his brothers off guard by the sudden outburst.

When he was sure he had both of their attention, he crossed his arms over his plastron and took a deep breath. "Listen. I need to say something, and I'm only going to say it once, so you'd better pay attention."

The other two looked at each other and then back at Raph. Mikey moved to sit on the edge of Donny's table even as Donny leaned back in his chair. Once they were settled, they looked towards the older turtle expectantly.

And now that it was actually time to say what he needed to say, and he had both his brothers there, he found he lacked the ability. The words refused to come out! They were stuck in his throat, clinging to the last remnants of sanity and normalcy and-

'_Oh, fuck me running! Can I even do this?'_

"So?" Mikey asked. "What's so important that you want to talk to us alone and without Leo? Is this about a surprise party for him?"

"No," Raph rasped. "It's…. I…"

Mikey and Don shared another look and then turned to regard Raph again.

"Is this about Leo?" Don asked quietly.

"Yes."

"And is it something he doesn't know about?"

"No."

"So, he does know." Don said as he nodded his head. "Is it… personal?"

"Yes." Raph said as he closed his eyes. Trust Don to play twenty questions when all it would really take was one blunt statement.

"Is it something you want us involved in?"

"No."

"I see."

"Well, I don't, so would someone care to enlighten me?"

"I want…" Raph tried to say, but again the words failed him. Would he ever be able to actually say what he wanted?

"I believe Raph wants to start a sexual relationship with Leo," Don said matter-of-factly, his cool eyes never leaving Raph's features. "If he hasn't already."

The usually hot-tempered turtle ducked his head, but didn't deny the allegation. In fact, if he had had the skin for it, he would have blushed.

"Yeah, right," Mikey laughed loudly. When he realized that no one else was joining in with him, his laughter died down and he could only look between his two brothers. "Wait… you're serious?"

The red-banded turtle couldn't speak past his closed throat, so he just nodded his head.

Mikey stared at him in open mouth shock for a moment before blurting out, "WHY?"

"Why?" Raph choked out, only to have the youngest brother nod animatedly. "Because… Because he… He's got a lot of good qualities. He's good at what he does. He's… Fuck! Because he's hot!"

"And that's your reason?" Donny asked incredulously.

"Leo? Hot?" Mikey said at the same time.

"What did you expect me to say?" Raph fairly growled.

"I guess if you like uptight and preachy." Mikey said to himself with a shrug.

Both Don and Raph glared at the their younger brother before mutually deciding to forget he had just said that.

"I would hope you'd want to… well, it shouldn't just be because he's 'hot' you know. That won't last, and we don't need you guys at each others throat because one of you got dumped by the other."

"Why does everyone keep bringing that up?" Raph asked angrily. "There isn't going to be any dumping of anyone. He's mine and I'm keeping him."

Don and Mikey shared another look for a moment. The two shrugged and then looked at Raph.

"Well, if you're happy…" Mikey said whimsically. "Go for it."

"You're serious?" Raph asked, dumbstruck. Who would have thought that his family was okay with this? With him trying to get with Leo? He certainly hadn't thought it possible, and he wasn't sure if he would have been as accepting if it was anyone else.

"Well, yeah," the orange-banded turtle shrugged. "It's not like either of us was interested in him."

"Or you." Don added with a shrug.

Raph stared at the two of them in bafflement. "Did Leo talk to you already?"

The two looked at each other for what seemed the dozenth time before turning to look questioningly at him. In unison, they drawled out, "No."

"Because you're both taking this way better than…. Well, than I would have."

"Eh, whatever makes you happy, bro." Mikey shrugged with a little smile. "It's obvious you're serious about this. I mean, you've actually taken the time and put thought into it. So, if you want it, go for it."

Donny smiled at their youngest sibling before he turned back to Raph. "We're all we've got, and we model our behavior after humans. Inter-dating was bound to happen sooner or later."

"Well… we could have gone after a human girl…"

"Yeah, we could really show her a good time. No, this is our life." Donny snorted as he held up his arms, indicating more than his room. "We're not human, and we never will fit in with them, try as we might. And some of us do try harder than others. But as long as we remain together, it doesn't really matter. But if you were concerned about the whole, I'm gay thing, I'll have you know that homosexuality is common in the animal kingdom, so it's not like it's unnatural."

Mikey blinked at both of them, a slow smile spreading across his features. "Does this mean we're going to start going steady, Donny? Like Leo and Raph?"

"What?"

"Well, you just said that eventually we'd start dating each other."

Donny opened his mouth, as if to say something, but for the first time in a long time, Raph found someone else who was left speechless. "Yeah, you have fun with that."

"Where are you going?" Don squeaked, his eyes still on Mikey.

"After Leo." The red-banded turtle grinned as he took a deep breath. He felt excited and relaxed all at the same time. It wasn't something he was used to.

Raph smiled wickedly. '_Guess it's time to go hunting._'

-0-0-

Another night, another rooftop.

No rain fell, but there was no denying the promise of the coming storm. Raph could taste it in the back of his mouth. The air was cold and tense. Waiting.

The two mutants circled each other, their weapons naked in their hands.

"Round and round we go," the red-banded turtle rasped. "And it's time we figured out where we're going with this. Don't you think?"

"I think we already know where we're going," Leo retorted.

"So, you agree that we're headed down this road together?"

"Would you have it any other way?" the sword-wielding turtle said as he shifted his position.

If it weren't from years of sparing against each other, Raph might have slipped up. But he trusted Leo enough to know that, even if he had made a mistake, he'd have been okay. Even so, his sai were up and tangled with the other's swords before he even registered moving to block.

"Why?" Raph grunted, pushing against his brother. "I want to know why you're doing this. Why this way."

Leo blinked once before he grinned. He let Raph take his swords away, and in that split second when he was unguarded, went for pressure points.

"Shit!" Raph cursed. As turtles, they had fewer marks to hit, as either their shell or their plastron covered some of the prime spots that remained vulnerable on humans. And yet, with just three precise hits, Raph was down on the ground unable to move once again.

Leo crouched above him, staring at him with hooded eyes.

Raph growled as he struggled against his own body, even though he knew it was useless. Master Splinter had taught them all well, but when it came to excelling in their art, none could beat Leo for precision or perfection. Angrily, the larger male stared up at his older brother. "So, is this it?"

"You know, for most of our lives, as brothers, we've been trying to tear each other down. You rage against me, trying to prove me wrong time and again, and I can't help dressing you down and proving you wrong. We're each trying to prove that we're superior to one another."

Raph stopped struggling to stare up at the blue-banded turtle with concern.

"We're always trying to break each other."

"No we aren't."

"Yes, we are," Leo replied quietly. "Trying to break and recreate."

"Uh-huh, now you're talking like Donny does about the toaster," Raph snorted, going back to trying to move.

"We're always trying to get each other to do better, and to do that, we push and pull and break," Leo reiterated.

"And then?" Raph said distractedly.

"And then the cycle continues," Leo shrugged. "So, what if we become more, or less, than brothers? More and less than family?"

"What are you talking about?" the immobile turtle asked, completely exasperated. "We're always going to be who we are."

"People change," Leo informed him. "Even we change. And that's what I'm talking about. Us. Changing."

Any thought of continuing the fight faded fast as Raph went completely still. "You changin' your mind, Leo?"

"No," Leo barked a shaky laugh. He looked up at the city around them. "No, I'm not."

Raph breathed a loud sigh. "Good because I'd hafta kick-"

"No matter how afraid I am, I started us down this path," he continued as he stood up. He continued to speak as he moved to reclaim his swords. "And there isn't any going back now."

Raph blinked up at Leo, confusion plainly written across his features. "Uhm, excuse me?"

Leo looked back down at his brother, his head tilted to the side, a silent question written in the movement.

"What the fuck do you mean you 'started us down this path'?" Raph asked. "If I remember, we were fighting, and I… I got hard and you got me off."

Leo's smirk returned as he shook his head. "There were other things I could have done. Like backed off."

"Yeah, well…" Raph grumbled, feeling his face flush.

"You told me to, remember?" Leo said as he moved forward. With a single touch, he was able to allow Raph to climb back up and reclaim his sai. "You kept warning me to back off. And I didn't. I… I should have listened to your warnings."

"Hey, I didn't complain," the younger mutant tried to grin. "In fact, I wanted more."

"I know," Leo replied, ducking his head. "And… and I wanted you to want more."

"Is that why you baited me?"

"I know you can't leave a challenge unanswered," Leo whispered roughly. "It's one of the things that gets you in trouble the most."

"Okay, yeah, I'll give you that. But, Leo, I gotta know something…"

"What's that?"

"Why didn't you ever just, you know, get off? Why did you always hold back?"

"Because I wasn't gong to put everything into nothing."

"Nothing?"

"An empty fantasy." Leo clarified. "I wasn't going to pretend to have someone who didn't want me."

The red-banded turtle blinked twice before he started to laugh. "Man, Leo, you are one arrogant son-of-a-bitch. You honestly think I'd be here if I didn't want to be?"

"Oh?" Leo asked, crossing his arms over his plastron and tilting his head back.

Raph took one look at the other turtle's arrogant stance and pounced. He wrestled Leo to the ground, but capturing him was far trickier. Leo knew tactics and he knew how Raph moved, but Raph was bigger and stronger. There were actually quite evenly matched, and they both knew it. However, at that moment, Raph thought he held a key advantage. He wanted it more.

Eventually, after much rolling around and cursing, he managed to straddle the blue-banded turtle and pin both of his wrists to the ground.

Once he was fairly sure of his victory, Raph allowed himself a moment to pause and take stock of things. They were both breathing hard, chests moving with each deep breath. "Well, I see I made you break a sweat."

Leo opened his mouth to retort, but Raph beat him to it by leaning forward and doing his best to imitate a human kiss. Their first, or at least his first. He was fairly sure it was Leo's first, too, though. '_Okay, this is bizarre._' He thought to himself as he tried to match up the lines of their mouths. But when he managed to slip his tongue against Leo's, the weirdness didn't matter near as much as the smug pleasure did at hearing the other turtle's soft gasp.

It wasn't at all like he expected it to be, like they made it out to be in films and on television, but Raph supposed it was more due to the fact that they were mutant turtles more than anything else. However, as focused as he was on the kiss, or mockery of said action, he failed to notice when his grip… slipped.

And Leo was free.

The next thing that Raph knew, one of Leo's hands was behind his head, tilting him just so, and allowing Leo to take control of the kiss. The red-banded turtle took the direction easily, for once, and was quickly rewarded.

'_Okay, where did Leo learn that?_' Raph thought brokenly as he moaned. Using more of his back brain than his front, the larger male rolled them so that Leo was on top, driving them both. He could feel his body reacting again, but this time… this time he didn't care that he was on an uncovered rooftop where anyone could be watching them. All he cared about at that particular moment was the feel of Leo…

Leo broke the kiss and leaned up, breathing hard and eyes wide.

Raph figured he wasn't any better off, but damn if it wasn't a pleasant sight. "Niiiice."

"Is this the part where you ask if you've made your point?" Leo gasped, suddenly grinding against him and sending shockwaves of pleasure straight to Raph's brain.

"Oh, fuck me…" the red-banded turtle rasped thickly.

At that, Leo tilted his head slightly as he continued to stare down at him with clear eyes. "You sure about this?"

"Fuck, why does everyone ask that question?" Raph hissed, his body still throbbing with unquenched lust. "Yes, I'm sure. I've been trying to tell you that for fucking-ever!"

"Hmm?" Leo murmured. He leaned forward and moved against him again, either unaware of their exposed positions or unconcerned.

Not that Raph really cared, because he was right back to thinking about the way Leo's body fit against his.

"Fuck yeah…" Raph moaned as Leo bit down on his shoulder again. "Dammit, that's good. And so help me, if you don't give your all and actually fucking come, I'm going to kick your ass."

Leo released the captured bit of flesh in his mouth and began to laugh softly against the curve of Raph's neck. "If that's what you want."

"I want this, Leo," Raph rasped. "Want you. Want everything."


End file.
